image via zootpatrol.com

The Matrix, Donnie Darko, the first Star Wars Trilogy, Back to the Future, and countless Disney movies all have something in common. After creating a beauteous gem worth watching over and over, the d-bag producers of these films thought to themselves, “Hey, I bet we can make an even better sequel (or sequels)!”

Well, guess again dudes. While some sequels turn out okay, of these examples, S. Darko, Back to the Future 3, and Attack of the Clones are all particularly large piles of garbage.

And I don’t think I need to mention how the most recent Indiana Jones movie turned out, which brings me to my next point. The only thing worse than a crappy sequel is a crappy sequel that comes out a decade after the original, when whatever artistic driving force was responsible for the success of the original has probably withering away.

Why are we talking about this? Because there are rumors of a Zoolander 2 coming out sometime in 2012 (mtv news). Sure, many of you are thinking, “Wow, compared to the aforementioned cinematic travesties, I don’t really give a flying fart about what becomes of Zoolander’s reputation.” It’s true; we don’t have a Matrix or Star Wars situation on our hands, but it’s still a classic in its own right, and I’m sure there are some worried individuals out there who don’t want to see anyone screw this up.

If the rumors are true, then the only thing we Zoolander fans can do is hope. Hope that this will be some freak, once-in-a-million exception to the rule. Hope that Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson, and Will Farrell, even though they’re in their 40s, will still give us gold.

I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I think it might be possible. Ben Stiller has been in some god-awful movies since the first Zoolander came out, but if he’s responsible for writing and directing the new one, it could potentially be hilarious. If Tropic Thunder is any indicator of Stiller’s capabilities, then audiences can expect to see a great deal of Hollywood- aimed satire, which will most likely include many shots at himself and the rest of his washed up cast.

If this new movie is as self-aware as I hope it will be, then we don’t really have to worry about them ruining the old one.

On the other hand, it could be a nightmare….aahhh!! Ben Stiller, so help me, if you’re in one more Night at the Museum or Meet movie you will be forever dead to me!