A great philosopher once said, “Don’t mess with fat cats.” Jake apparently didn’t hear the words of that great philosopher because he’s decided to go out of his way to mess with one of the greatest fat cats America has ever known.

Garfield lives his life as an undercat. Of course people will initially like Snoopy more; he’s lovable, he dreams he’s a world war fighter pilot, and he’s about the only thing that cheers up the constantly sighing Charlie Brown. On paper, he’s the coolest dog on his side of the block. But in order to get truth we need to dive below the unsupported rhetoric of Jake Wild and look at why Garfield actually reigns supreme.

Before I tell you why you should like Garfield MORE than Snoopy, let me get some of Garfield’s many positive attributes that Jake forgot to mention. Here’s a short list:

- Garfield likes lasagna.

- Garfield has a video game.

- Garfield likes to sleep. A lot.

- Garfield is fat. And a cat.

- Garfield shares the name of a president.

- Garfield has a website that will keep you entertained for hours. And probably days considering how much is crammed in there.

Okay, again, that’s a very short list. I know several of you are going to be like “yeah, well I’m sure Snoopy like lasagna, too.” Of course he does. As a dog owner, I’m well aware that dogs like pretty much every type of food you put in front of them. But that’s what so amazing about Garfield! The guy has a refined sense of taste. Who woulda thunk a cat would be so selective? He’s one step away from being Ratatouille.

And then there’s also that Snoopy has his own video games, too. Well, have you ever played Snoopy’s video games? They’re not one bit worth your time. Try Garfield’s games . . . the early NES one is amazing.

But enough of these small points. Garfield wins because of his fight. The guy lives in a dog loving country. From Beethoven to Air Bud to Turner and Hooch, we can’t get enough of the trusty ol’ Canine. Meanwhile, all the press cats get is being the snobby annoying whiner in Homeward Bound and That Darn Cat. But Garfield is able to stand above the crowd of his hopeful idiotic characters. He has stood the test of time and found the hearts in millions of Americans. He’s even managed to live successfully with another dog and bridge the gap between species.

Garfield isn’t a hater; he’s a lover. He may be lazy, but the guy is the greatest thing to come to cat-dog relations since my great great great aunt Gertrude, and he will continue to touch the soul of readers, viewers, and gamers for years to come.